I just wanted to say hello

Do you ever say stupid things? Do you ever find yourself in a situation where your mouth just starts spewing words out and you wish you could just stop them, but for some reason you can't? Do you ever want to audibly tell yourself to shut up? Tonight I had that type of moment. I feel like such an idiot! I was at a housewarming party. My friend and her fiance bought a beautiful new home and had family and friends over to celebrate with them. I saw someone walk in that was familiar to me. She's a patient from where I work. I decided I wanted to go say hello to her before I left. I always like talking to her at work - she's pretty nice & has awesome colors in her hair! So, I fumble over to say hello.

Let me just interject with something here. I'm not certain as to how many of you can relate to this, but I really am not confident whatsoever with my mingling abilities. I must've been better when I was younger, because I don't remember feeling so awkward like I do now when faced with these situations. (I'll have to ask Vickie - she helps me remember things.) (Yes, old age!) I definitely feel uncomfortable when I'm in a room of strangers. I look for people I know, or I tend to just sit quietly. I'm not great at starting conversations with people I'm unfamiliar with. I often even struggle with people I know. I guess I worry about sounding like an idiot. I think tonight is my case in point.

I say hello & remind her of where she knows me. She smiles & says a few words that set my mind at ease, letting me know that she actually does remember who I am. From there, the rest felt like an out-of-body experience. It was as if I was just this vessel, and words were just pouring out of my mouth, without my knowledge of what was being said or why. The gist of it was that I guess I was trying to recall a few things she's told me about herself, and somehow bring that up in conversation. There really was no need for a conversation. Just that small hello & refresher of our connection & then a nice goodbye would have been plenty. Short & sweet. I should have left it as that. But no. I had to keep trying to say more. Nothing mean, but just dumb stuff. After my babbling spew, I left. On the way home, I realized how stupid I must've sounded, and how horribly embarrassed I suddenly felt. This girl was there with her boyfriend. AFTER my "moment" I found out that they hadn't been dating long. Why did I mention her kids? What if she didn't tell him that she had children? Did I just completely screw things up for her? Why did my mouth have to keep going? Why couldn't it have just stopped?

Chick with the cool hair, I apologize for my senseless ramblings to you this evening. That was not my intention. I just wanted to say hello.

I am socially inept. Really, I am. Ugh.