day 6 - sisu

Sometimes I wish I could just be a girly-girl. I wish I had all the time in the world to clean my home and make it as nice as I'd like it to be. I wish I could have girlfriends over for coffee (or either of my Moms!) while my daughter played quietly in the other room. I wish I could bake delicious goods from scratch, without even needing a recipe. I wish I could make my own unique and amazing cards to send out for birthdays and such. I wish my husband would always fill the tank with gas and would do all the "manly" things while I watch my soaps and eat bon-bons! I wish I liked pink more.

But that's just not me! My home is often messy, but we use it. I do have people over sometimes (when we're settled after moving, that is), and we laugh and enjoy one another's company while my daughter plays energetically (and often quite loud - she has FUN!) in the other room. I attempt to make things, from a box, with a recipe, and I sometimes burn them. But at least I try. I have wonderful ideas of creative things to make, but they don't always turn out the way I'd like them to. Sometimes a few will make the grade, and those are sent. But even the store-bought ones are filled with love (I take forever to pick out just the "right one"!), and I think my recipients know that. I fill the gas tank probably more than half the amount my husband does, only because it's really more convenient with my hours than his. I take out the trash, I move boxes, I put together cabinets (women follow the directions!), I move furniture, I fix the computer... I do "manly" things! And I have about 2 weeks of my soap on the DVR to catch up on, I'm not sure if I even like bon-bons (but I do like chocolate!), and I like pink... sometimes!

Growing up, I used to think my "toughness" was attributed to the fact that I have older brothers and wanted to impress them, letting them know I could keep up with them. Um, I don't know why I was thinking that - they're 4 and 11 and 16 years older than me! (Of course, I had sisters, too - 13 and 14 and 17 years older than me!) When I sit back and look at it now, sure, sometimes it might've been that. I can recall a time when I moved a pretty heavy chest of drawers from the main level to upstairs - including rounding a corner - by myself. I remember my Dad getting a little upset with me, but I loved the little gleam I saw in his eye as he caught me toward the end of the move. I'm not sure if it was really there or not, but I thought I saw it - and it was full of happy pride for his daughter. I'm sure a father must feel good when he sees his daughter doing things for herself. My Dad taught me a lot of things - I remember changing my own flat tires, adding oil and trans.fluids when needed, etc. I knew basic things, and I'm so thankful my Dad taught me those. Lifelong skills, ya know? Anyway, back to the proving I was tough thing! So, sometimes it might've been to prove I could keep up with the rest. Sometimes it was just to make them smile that I could do something. But I think a lot of it is purely genetic.

Genetic? Yes, it's SISU! A definition of sisu is described as "a Finnish term meaning, roughly, inner strength, determination, perseverance in the face of adversity, and a strong work ethic." The Wiki goes into more detail, but basically sums it up the same. Inner strength. Perseverance in the face of adversity. Strong work ethic. When I look at my Mom (she's 100% Finnish), she has always done so much. Sure, my Dad did a lot of the "manly" things around the house, but my Mom could, too. And when she worked at something, she did it whole-heartedly, and still does. She could do anything as far as I was concerned! And if I think of her Mom, yup, Gramma was the same way! They were both always hard-working women, determined, focused, always got the job done and did it right. They also knew how to have that feminine balance - they were sweet, very loving, giving, warm and caring. (Sorry for lack of more words - I only had one cup of coffee today!) They loved God and loved their families. They found that balance.

Sometimes I feel like I'm still striving to find that balance. Especially on days where I'm working, running for gas, picking up toilet paper & milk at the store, and tucking my daughter in at night. On days where I have to wait for the maintenance guy come repair something while I'm trying to unpack and organize the kitchen. On days where I have a church meeting and something else going on with Kirsten the same night. And on days when I have absolutely nothing on the calendar. But I have sisu! I have the drive! I also know it's something that God's instilled in the make-up of who I am. I just have to fight that procrastinating side of me to actually do the things I want to do!

Do you have something you've been putting off that you want to do? Take this weekend and see if you can make it happen! Whether it be a craft project, catching up on laundry, visiting someone you miss, reading a book... whatever it is, just do it! :)


P.S. See what happens when I actually blog in the morning?!? I have words! LOL