never look at life the same

This morning we started a new series at Paradox called "30 Days to Live." There are 4 parts to the series, and today's section was "Live." Our pastor, Craig, did a great job of getting the point across on this one... I still can't stop thinking about it! What would you do if you only had 30 days left to live? How would you live your life differently?

Looking at it in that light, I think we'd all choose to live for what really matters. I know if I suddenly was about to die in the next few minutes, and knew it was about to happen, I'd have many regrets. I'd regret not truly living my life for what mattered most to me. Too often I've let insecurities & fears shape my decisions. I've held myself back from doing things I've wanted to do. I've said the "when..." thing way too many times. So many of us have. You know what I mean. Mine's been "when I have my own house, I'll be able to have people over more often" (spend more time with others). I think I've let that hold me back too often from spending time with people. I know of many opportunities that I look back on and wish I just would've made it happen. (Like with friends & family that are now moved far away.) I need to turn those when moments into now moments. I need to just call & connect, regardless of whatever insecurities are holding me back.

We saw a video clip of a guy that was dying from ALS. He shared some regrets of experiences he missed out on because of his own selfishness when he was healthy. He encouraged us not to make the same mistake. Yesterday I attended a funeral/memorial and was reminded of how I regret not visiting Mrs. Wrubel before she passed away. I was also reminded of how I regret not doing more things with my sister before she died. Those moments are gone. All I can do is not allow that to happen again with others.

The point? I need to start living as if I knew I had only 30 days left to live. Sure, this won't be an overnight change. This will take time. But I need to start. I think today I'll spend a little less time on the computer and a little more time with my daughter. She's seven, and she won't be this age for much longer. I need to enjoy these moments with her now... today.