crashing to a halt

Matt called me at work later on Monday to tell me that an old friend of ours, Wes, had passed away. This has effected me in a big way this week so far, and I just can't seem to snap out of it yet. I stopped thinking about the fast, and I stopped my reading. I have done a lot of praying, though, and even more-so for Wes's family and friends. I was talking to Matt about this last night. I think I feel bad that I don't really feel bad for stopping the fast...? I mean, it's not even entering my mind that I'm not continuing with what I had been so eagerly working on. I just feel like I'm going thru each day in a fog - going through the motions of work and such. I'm interacting with Kirsten & Matt & others, but my focus is completely lost. I'm even struggling to remember little things about my job at work, things that are second-nature to me there.

I'm not sure if it's because Wes was so young (only 32), or if it's just that I have so many memories of him in our lives... I just feel numb about things.

For as rough as this is on me, I know it's so much harder on Matt. They were good friends, did so many things together (including work at one point - and it wasn't a bad thing!). This has been really hard for him to grasp. I know this weekend will be so rough at the viewing/funeral.

Anyway, I'll try my best to continue however I can with the fast & reading, but I don't know how diligent I will be. Maybe I'll just plan to do it over again later in the month, when things are settled and my ability to focus returns. I'm just way too scattered in my thoughts right now.

For those who knew Wesley Atwood, please be in prayer for his family. His wife's name is Stephanie, and they have 2 kids, Madison (8 yrs) and Zane (7 yrs). Wes has a younger sister & brother (both in their 20's), and his parents are mourning, too. His best friend Virgil is coming in town from Texas to be with them until next week.


"Every man dies. Not every man really lives. words my brother lived by." (A post by Wes's brother JT.)

day something-or-other

Been a rough few days since Friday as far as the fasting & prayer is concerned. Just been very busy & distracted - I really am longing for my quiet alone time with God. I need my focus back. Trying to see if I can drink my coffee black, but am settling for some sugar-free flavored creamer instead. Maybe by next week I can do it! Hopefully I can catch up on my reading tonight and be back on track.

Heading off to my 10-hr. Monday at work & planning to come home for lunch. Have some hummus and boiled eggs and fruit waiting for me. And my Bible! :)